It's that wonderfully, awfully, romantic holiday again. I've tried my best this year to ignore the Hallmark cheesiness of it all and not buy into the idea that I need to have someone around on this one day a year to be happy and fulfilled. It's only kind of working.
This is the first Valentine's in quite a while that I'm so incredibly alone. Which sucks, it really does, but has also given me a chance to figure out a few important things about my life. One, the last 4 months or so have been the happiest of my whole life, and I did that, all by myself. Two, I think we're all like animals in search of a pack, needing that connection to others and wanting to belong to a bigger whole. I think that's what has felt missing for me, even in all this happiness. Three, searching for that "pack" is exhausting, and sometimes you just need to curl up in a cave and recharge.
So that's my Valentine's plan. Brunch with some good friends, and then a day at home, pampering me. Maybe dinner and a romantic movie? Sounds like a date. With the coolest person I know! :-p
I hope you all have had a lovely Valentine's Day/Chinese New Year/weekend as well.
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First, you are not alone! You just currently don't have the romance. I am sure this will come soon!
ReplyDeleteSecond, I am so glad you realize your happiness, made it all by yourself and are taking it in! You rock!
I love the single girl valentine date! I have done it, eh-hum, for a number of years running, but it can be great fun. Miss you!
Thanks, Marta! It's tough sometimes maintaining the happy-for-myself attitude in a world that says I'm supposed to be happy with someone else. But I was in great need of learning to love me without someone else's input, and we're getting there. Days spent pampering me certainly don't hurt!
ReplyDeleteMiss you tons, too!